Need a proper vacation soon #throwback #holiday #vacation #phuket
So ducking good! #vscocam #duck #pizza #timbre #singapore #trufflefries (at Timbre at Gillman)
Old meets the new. #vscocam #singapore #latenight #whatschool #whatwork #unemployed #sawadeeka
Missing Happy Season in Manchester. This will do for now #food #glutton #singapore
people tell me to becareful.
day in day out.
"you won’t get anything out of this but sufferings"
i don’t wanna say that i know things better then the rest of you combined together because the situation is so ambiguous that i, too, am doubting myself. its not like i don’t. i do. some days i don’t when things turns out fairly well.
it is such a grey area. and it is exactly because of that, i curiously leap myself into this situation. i continue to wade myself through, to see what’s is in store for me. what pain or happiness or tears or laughter that i will shed today.
at the end of the day, i search for contentment. i got that during the last 7 weeks in manchester. lately, i honestly havent been feeling any of it.
does it pain me? of course.
3 weeks in, back in our homeland which we missed a lot initially and everything changed. every single thing. freedom gone. things we want unfulfilled and finally, big responsibility sat on me like a fat bitch.
do i yearn for manchester moment? oh fucking hell yes.
so do most of my friends. but as they say, things change. nothing remains the same. we forge new memories, new companions but i hope we remain as friends till our hair turns grey.
for me and him? let’s be realistic. i do not think we will last. ever. but the thought of it hurts like a bitch. for me that is. the last time i felt so much for someone was years back. years.
but reality is reality. i can’t keep hoping for a miracle to happen.
i foresee a greater change.
for better or worse, it remains to be seen.
forever my favourite post
Its only right to give lesser fuck when first started. But as time goes along, do give me that attitude and continue. I will be packing up my bag and leave you stranded there.
Dont be stupid.
i have insecurities. i admit i do.
but i have learned over the years to come to terms with a lot of things. to learn to love myself more and build my confidence. through work, through the people i met and through a lot of self meditation. i learn to appreciate myself more.
but it really takes one bomb to destroy everything.
i went through hell and now it is difficult to find my footing back.
two years ago, jack dropped a bomb. i manage to salvage myself through working and distract myself from everything. this year, i had another bomb dropped by people i just forged new friendship with. and honestly, i am still trying to deal with the situation.
i thoughts will wonder off and think - am i really not good enough? am i at fault? what do i have to do to make things better? to make things happier? maybe i should have done that. maybe this.
questions that i thought would never have to revisit. questioning my worth and whatever i lived myself for.
i am still working on that insecurities that i am feeling. still trying to get things working. by myself.
i just hate the me now.